Meet Father Bob Sirico, Gay Sex Slave Auctioneer Turned Right Wing Catholic Zealot

If you're going to cough up an ungodly percentage of your paycheck on Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer, you ought to at least be informed where your forty two hard earned dollars are going: to radical right wing plutocrat shills like this guy! 

If you grew up Catholic and have gone to church within the past five years you have probably noticed that the modern Church is a far cry from the tolerant, transparent, enlightened institution that introduced you to concepts like trans-substantiation and sexual shame in your youth. No, the modern Catholic church is all about demonizing/subjugating women, denying climate science, death profiteering and deifying kleptocrats just like every other institution in the Western World. People who did not grow up with the granola religion in which my nuns and priests and Heritage Foundation employed father schooled me as a child may not see how that is so different from the Catholic Church that was merely waning in influence/molesting altarboys all those years, so allow me to draw a quick compare-contrast that might elucidate the transition: when I was a kid the consummate public icon of Catholicism was Mother Teresa. Today it is Father Bob Sirico of the Acton Institute for the study of Religion and Liberty.

Father Bob is a regular guest on Fox News. Here, watch him explain what a dangerous misinterpretation of the scriptures it was when Obama quoted Jesus saying "unto whom much has been given much will be required." Better yet, watch him here on Eternal Word Television Network ridicule battered wives, chastise a British church for allowing female altar servers too near to the Pope and crack some good-natured waterboarding jokes. Oh and here he explains how John Galt is actually Jesus. Also, there is this preposterous letter he sent Notre Dame president John Jenkins returning a Lladro sculpture the school had bestowed upon him in protest over his "scandalous decision" to invite the president to deliver the school's commencement address:

I am returning this statue to your office because what once evoked a pleasant memory of a venerable Catholic institution now evokes shame and sorrow. The statue is simply too painful a reminder of the damage and scandal Notre Dame has brought to the Church and the cause of human life in this decision.

Anyhow, it probably would not surprise you to know Father Bob believes same-sex marriage is as blasphemous as the pyramid soap scheme billionaires who bankroll his "think tank" do. But what is really odd about this story is that Sirico not only used to perform gay marriages, he sort of seems to have invented the concept.

But Sirico did not entirely sit out the key party era in his capacity as an early adopter of the puritanical "family values gay agenda"; he also hosted "harmless" slave auctions at a gym run by a "cultist" BDSM club called the Leather Fraternity.

My specific problem with this is that when Sirico "explains" his colorful past in interviews today he invariably refers to it as his "soft Marxist" phase, when it is probably more accurately described as his "writing essays like 'A Day Without Property Rights is like a Day Without Sunshine' for Reason magazine while hosting slave auctions and converting gays to Libertarian Party politics so that David Koch could run for vice-president" phase. 

In any case, Father Sirico sort of dropped off the scene for about ten years starting at the end of the seventies and resurfaced in Grand Rapids to found the Acton Institute with money from the Amway family in 1990 where he immediately commenced writing op-eds such as "The Samaritan's Dilemma" originally published in Forbes on such pressing national problems as the threat soup kitchens pose to free market forces: