BREAKING KRAP: Almost-Ousted UVA President Teresa Sullivan Promises Newspaper She Will Lose Weight

UPDATE:  A source in the Charlottesville mainstream media community tells Das Krap that Hawes Spencer was not actually the journalist who asked Sullivan whether she was losing weight; it was actually the NPR affiliate affiliated non-male Sandy Hausman. But given Spencer's ultimate culpability for the "plus sized bullying" meme that had presumably "informed" this question, and also his decision to headline his post on the interview "Mending Fences: And Losing Weight, Sullivan Tells All", I hope Spencer and readers will trust this to have been an honest mistake.

On Wednesday the Charlottesville alt-weekly The Hook ran founding editor Hawes Spencer's EXCLUSIVE interview with deposed/reinstated University of Virginia president Teresa Sullivan that I somehow missed while I was writing my own essay about the very real motive behind the ouster that the regular media had somehow missed.

I am picturing Hawes Spencer at right because I figured you would want to know something about the appearance of the intrepid inquisitor who dared to ask preeminent scholar and beloved university president Teresa Sullivan, who just survived a coup attempt plotted by a downright dimwitted cabal of plutocrats and professional plutocrat sycophants with the apparent agenda of transforming higher education into something more like the Landmark Forum with sports, whether she was losing weight.

The babygotbackstory here is this: somehow unbeknownst to me the notion that Sullivan had clashed with the Board of Visitors becasue she was fat had already become an established meme—albeit not quite as universally acknowledged a meme as the . Of course, the establisher of this established meme was none other than Hawes Spencer's (slightly less douchey looking but also seriously way, way too old for this sort of bullshit) deputy David McNair, author of The Hook's 3,197 word June 27 cover story advancing the theory that Rector and coup co-conspirator Helen Dragas had plotted the putsch as the final insult in a long campaign of "plus-sized bullying." 

Reader, I got about 750 words in. It's just a bunch of fucking quotes from fucking "experts" on "appearance-based discrimination" and also some random lady at an event who says Sullivan looks "like a grandmother"—which, she's fucking 63!!—and zero evidence plus an italicized disclaimer at the bottom with Dragas's response to a question about whether she had been fat shaming Sullivan that apparently arrived in McNair's inbox just after the issue went to bed and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it:

"Your assertion is ridiculous," she responded via an assistant, "and the question is highly inappropriate and offensive."

Not to mention, CRIMINALLY BESIDE THE POINT. 

But anyway, if you're wondering why no one has picked up the real story of how Teresa Sullivan was ousted for defending scientists against the relentless attacks of energy tycoons, right wing jihadists and miscellaneous rich philistines with assistance from a rogue former satellite campus, now you know: they were just too fucking swamped chasing down the "fat" angle.